I have two thoughts to share with you.
1. We sat at church this morning - eating together and reflecting on the message of the cross .. communing! I came home and began thinking about how for so many years I could hardly handle attending Good Friday service; in fact I avoided them for a few years during hard times of my life.
The pain in my life was hard enough; and I felt like I had enough of the guilt and shame feelings.
Some of you are thinking "GOOD you should feel uncomfortable on Good Friday - we should remember all He went through for us and maybe if we remembered the pain and agony we wouldnt want to disobey Him."
And yet, without wanting to sound disrespectful - it shouldnt just be once a year; it also isnt all about the pain and agony. My God doesnt want us walking around in the guilt and shame. The cross dealt with that! I dont have to be solem like at a funeral to know what He has done for me.
He isnt dead - He is alive. He dealt with the old me .. in fact Galatians 2:20 says that the old me died there too. Why do we have to be solem about that? This is something wonderful and worth celebrating and being thankful and excited about. So .. today I celebrated. I loved the whole entire morning and while I am very reflective - I am also VERY thankful and no longer walking around feeling mournful on Good Friday. Thank you for the cross - thank you loving us. You paid a debt you did NOT owe!
I guess I believe we can be reflective and aware of all that happened at the cross without needing to be brought to a place of mourning; or of shame, guilt and the reminder of the "horrible sinners" we were. We know - we were there. But that person no longer exists. Yes I still sin - but I am a NEW creation.
Thank you for the cross! Thank you because of the cross I am new.Thank you that you have raised us to NEWNESS of life. Thank you that because of your great love for us - you provided a way for us to have this LIFE .. to have Jesus .. your very presence dwelling inside of us. Insert Song: REDEEMED or HAPPY DAY or Glorious Day :)
2. What did stand out to me today (as we read from Matthew 27), was the reminder that Jesus did not speak a mean word in retaliation as a response to the accusations, insults, betrayals and rejections. He remained silent . Isaiah says like a lamb to a slaughter; and yet He remained silent.
This past week I went through some rejection and betrayal; and immediately I felt crushed and then the need to "fix" the story; to defend myself and then I began taking steps to protect myself and to distance myself from the person spreading the story that was full of hurt and lies.
Then this morning: Jesus reminded me of how He was silent and still loved even after many people were done using Him for what they could get; and now were the ones demanding and participating in His cruel death! Jesus was innocent and remained innocent. He chose to love!
(I do want to quickly say, that choosing to love does not always mean reconciliation. Nor does it always mean relationship restored and many times loving someone means that new boundaries need to be in place.)
I was however left with the question: "Jacqueline, will you still choose to love that person? Will you love whether that person ever changes or not?" in fact, "what if that person's behaviour gets worse? Will you love - in my name? "
Last Sunday at church Pastor Shane Pickel talked about choosing life, choosing hope, choosing faith and choosing to love. This has been very applicable to what my week has entailed.
Thats all for now ..
Jacqueline
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