Happy Birthday Son

Mama, Mommy, Mom and sometimes "MOTHER" ... Then of course comes the job description: cook, nurse, doctor, maid, chauffeur, bank teller, provider, teacher, counsellor, guide, disciplinarian, coach, cheer leader and friend.

I remember the first time I felt the baby in my tummy; it felt weird just like they said it would, and from that moment on, there was no rest unitl I knew that everything was ok.The day didnt end well for me, until I felt that baby kick; and then the day he was born, I believe I held my breath until the doctor was able to get him to cry ... Wow, in such a short time my life as I knew it changed forever.

He turns 17 years old today, and it still hasnt changed. I don't rest until he is home with my car on a snowy evening; when he goes on trips to the United States, I rest only when I hear that he has arrived safely. Then, on return, I don't fall into a deep sleep until I know that he is home. He doesn't even have to be upstairs; as soon as I hear the front door close then I rest. Whoever said that being a parent was easy? It is a tremendous role; but an awesome privilege that many of us have been given.

Our discussions are no longer about picking out a new toy car or what colour sippy cup he would like to use. He no longer needs me to do laundry, pick out clothes or make phone calls to arrange a play date. The discussions have graduated to being about who gets the car; what time he should be home (or at least check in); who is paying for the winter retreats and gas; where should he get a job; should he go to camp? and then of course, the talks have begun around where to go to school. This time next year, he is going to be preparing to move on to further education of some sort.

Am I ready for that? To be honest, no. I was in bed the other night thinking about our journey as a family (especially over the past 6 years) and how things have changed. How my children have grown up so very quickly; how at some points I wish to have a rewinded button (or at least a pause button). But, my children belong to Jesus, and it is important for me to remember that they are loved even more by God than I can possibly love them.

I like to think that I have have learned to hold my children loosely in my hands for Father to do with what He likes; but when the time comes to let go (even if ever so slightly) my immediate reaction is to tighten the grasp. Holding tightly is not helpful or beneficial. I must remember that God has it all; and he is a young man now. He is not the little toddler who runs down the hallway looking for a hug when I walk in the door; in fact, somedays, I may get a hello from the computer, the keyboard where he is learning a new song to play or from the kitchen when it is his turn to cook dinner.

I am proud of the young man he has become, and I look forward to where God takes him on his journey. That all said, I am thankful for the time I got to be his mama, mommy and mom. I will always be his "mother" but he is learning to fly now without the "safety of the nest".

So Son, run to Jesus Matthew; keep resting in Him as your guide and LIFE. He knows exactly where He wants you to be; don't worry, He will show you and He will provide.

Finally, thanks for the part you have played in the last 6 years; you have in many ways had to grow up more quickly than you should have. You have indeed learned as you were counselled to " be part of a team".

Happy Birthday Son!

"Unless the Lord build the house, those who labour, labour in vain ... Children are a blessing from the Lord, and blessed are you whose quiver is full of them" Psalm 127: 1 - 5 (my paraphrase)

In His Hands,

Jacqueline