Why do We do the Things We Do?

There is a first line of a song that goes "Why do I do the Things I do?" So many times in my life I do something and then ask myself " why did I just do that? what really did it accomplish? Was that beneficial to me in any way?" I would like to say that I believe, those of us who love Jesus, really dont want to do anything contrary to His word, His wishes and even what we know wont make us "happy" in the end.. BUT YET .. we continually try to meet our own needs by going about our own way, that is living after our flesh. A friend and I were talking, and yes it might appear we want to do that certain action ( like lie, or pig out on chocolate etc etc) but how do we feel later on? We feel guilty. That is a good indicator that we dont really want to do that.

Yesterday I was having a day of "defiance". I knew that there was one solution for my attitude, my thoughts and my feelings. The horrible attitude was starting to spill over on to my behaviour... BUT would I give in? NOPE! I was determined to have a sucky day, a day where I was going to be full of anger and hatred and refuse to do the right thing, think the right thing and even feel the right thing.

Today, guess what? I feel stupid and guilty :) now, before I hear any comments on that - guilt is not a bad thing when it is true. I did not accomplish anything yesterday but making a few bad decisions, and distancing myself from Father. He is there all along and He welcomes hearing my vents,my prayers and yes HE does collect my tears.He is aware of every single one of them.
The thing that I am amazed about the most is - Father can handle me not handling it well and when push comes to shove.. my life is empty when I am not talking to Him. When I try to meet my needs my way, there is no fulfillment.
I might be feeling sad or lonely .. but if I am not talking to Father - the one who gives life and love unconditionally - then I am going to end up feeling and being sad and lonely.

Thanks Father for loving us where we are at. Thank you that you are okay with us when we are not okay with ourselves. Dont stop whatever it is you are doing in us. I dont want any less and I want to be complete in you!

Til next time

Jacqueline