The comments and encouragement has been so very overwhelming today. I promised to be transparent - so here goes. I am absolutely terrified at what I have begun. Do I know it is the right thing to do? yes. Am I fully equipped with the God of all grace and peace to walk this journey? yes.
I have come to realize that though I have taken a first step in this journey of to "Freedom from Weight", the hard part is still to come.
Today I have been reminded that God who has asked this of me, will be faithful in doing so; and yet I tremble.
I tremble at coming to terms with being even more transparent; I tremble with not knowing the words to say when asked "why"; I tremble at admitting the "number" which the scale says.
As I tremble, Moses came to mind, if you please forgive the freedom I am taking in this writing, let me paraphrase Exodus 4: 10-12
"Then Jacqueline said to God, Please God, do I have to admit how high my weight has gotten to be? Am I really going to be of help to others in this? I have never been eloquent, neither am I now or have I ever been. I am slow to learn, I do not know much about losing weight or eating healthy... And God said to Jacqueline, Who made you? who has given you a mouth? who makes those who are sick, those who are now overweight or those who are healthy; who will take care of them and love them unconditionally? Is it not I who is in control and equipping you, walking each step of this journey with you? Is it not I the Lord?
Now go, keep walking, even I will be with your feet, your mouth and fingers to type; I will show you and teach you what to say (what to do and what to eat)"
Father in obedience I follow you; I surrender and I want all of my pride to be gone. Please remind me of your truths that it matters very little what others say or think; but what you say/think is what matters. You know how I have failed, you know where I am weak .. I trust in you and not on my own understanding! Amen (my paraphrase from Corinthians and Proverbs).
That's all for now.
In Him
Jacqueline
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