To Know You More ...

So, I wrote a blog for class today and decided to share it on this blog since nothing I shared is about anyone else. So... here it is .. wasnt sure what to write this week, as my thoughts are all over the place. Last Friday in class, I was personally having a battle and I was in somewhat of a "fighting" mood - however I did appreciate the conversations around
Henri Nouwen's book "The Return of the Prodigal". I have read that book, and have been challenged of late to see myself in it. In our group discussion we discussed seeing things from a different perspective. Not looking at scripture the same way as we have always seen it, but to look at it differently. For example, with the story of the "Prodigal Son", how often do we read that story and look at it from the view of the older son? How about us, do we think that we have to work and work to earn the love of our Father? Do we get upset and jealous when others seem to get a "party thrown in their honour", (even though we have remained faithful this whole time?) or what about the Father? Have you ever noticed that the story found in Luke 15 actually begins with "There was a man who had two sons" that indicates to me that this story is really about the Father, but perhaps we have made it about the son?

I struggled with making prayer "demands" on Jesus to heal, and yet I understand where the discussion was going. If we like Brother Lawrence are in constant communion ( that is constant abiding) with the Father, then when we pray we will be praying according to Father's will. We will be so "in tune" that we will know when Father asks us to pray for healing and when it is time for our dear brother or sister to be done with this life and end the battle with cancer.

It was neat in our group time to hear of personal examples of how God has made real what He wanted to show us. Father uses birds, seasons and many other things to get our attention and make His truth and love known to us.

This past week has been a hard one for me personally, and to be honest the last thing I feel like doing is writing this blog.
The feeling to run away to the mountains is so intense, and yet I do know thatI don't have to run to the mountains to be with Jesus. He is right here with me, every moment, living and experiencing it all with me. It has been most assuring to know that even in the midst of our own "muck and mire" God is faithful, God is soverign and God is love. It was a good reminder to me in our group time, that God is God and we are not!
To be at the point where we can be honest with how we are feeling and yet be willing to surrender our will for Father's is what has been hitting me the most this week. Do we really know what we are saying when we say, "whatever you want Father" ? or how about when we sing "everything I have, everything I am is yours" or one more to think about, "take my life and do what you want with it". If you have had much taken away, lost or stolen, you know how hard it is to keep losing things and people you love.
Well, what if that is part of the plan for your life? What if I am to lose everything for the sake of knowing Christ? To be able to say as Paul did (Phil 3:8)."I count all things but loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ" .

Father, show us what (if anything) is in the way of knowing you.. really really knowing you. Show us how we can know you more and more and more. Remind us of your love and presense in every situation. We want to know you and we long to hear you say one day " well done my faithful Child.