Last year at this time I had a choice to make. I could choose to fall into a bit of a pit or I could choose to be thankful. This year I have the same choice to make.
My children just went off with their dad to have a Thanksgiving dinner with grandparents and cousins. I will be honest with you; I wish I could have gone as well. I am aware the marriage is over (its been more than 6yrs now), but it would have been nice to spend an evening together, even just one more time. It was 19 years ago we walked down the aisle, making promises to each other and to God in front of family and friends. Songs that were sung including "We'll Build a Household of Faith" and "Find Us Faithful". Friends giving their best wishes on video tape; and even a great aunt caught on tape losing her dentures .... lots of memories to hold on to.
It didnt end how we thought, but I no longer regret. I loved you how I knew. I will choose to be thankful for what we did have, and from that who I am now.
I will forever be somewhat sad about how things ended, but today I am going to write a letter to the people who have impacted my life. I will not mention names, but you know who you are. To my friends (old and new) and my family ....
To the one who believed in me, who accepted me warts, disabilities and all - Thank you.
To the one who accepted me into the family ... thank you
To the one who doesnt let religion/family backgrounds ever be a barrior .. Thank you
To the one who gave me the "Crying chair" whenever needed ... Thank you
To the one who encouraged me to go back to school - Thank you
To the staff and students at EBC ... you loved me, encouraged me, listened to me and taught me (even though I was the old mom in the class).. Thank you!
To the one who called to check on the facts before believing the lies - Thank you
To the ones who have come on as my support team in ministry ... Thank you
To those who send notes, emails and small gifts to encourage me .. Thankyou
To the ones who let me cry - Thank you
To the ones at KLBS that showed me I had something to offer - Thank you
To the one who believed my story and worked through it with me.. Thank you
To the one who created a job just when I needed one ... Thank you
To the one who encouraged me to pursue God's call - Thank you
To the one who gave me a chance - Thank you
To the neighbours who wouldnt let me make the bad choices ... thank you
To the one who listened and talked - Thank you
To tne one who helped me clean up the bedroom ... Thank you
To the one who called to tell me about Crossways to Life ... Thank you
To the ones who tried to confront ... thank you
To the two who showed me hope and heard me enough to have me come back .. thank you
To the ones who helped me get the house/garage in order ... thank you
To the ones who I have hurt - I am sorry. Thank you for loving me.
To the one who bought me a ring, a couch and a bed ... Thank you
To the one who forgave me for how I hurt her and called me "Jack" - thank you for being my friend again (or still?)
To the one who let me love her children even when "boundaries" should have been no .. Thank you
To the ones who have loved me even when I pushed away in order to protect me .. thank you
To those who never gave up on me .. Thank you
To the one who said "yes you belong with us" ... Thank you
To the one who says "I see potential in you" - thank you
To the one who didnt/doesnt always tell me what I want to hear; who doesnt let me stay in the pit; who speaks truth but in the end reminds me that I have someone on my side ... Thank you
To the one who understands where I have come from ... and simply reminds me to trust .. Thank you
To all of those who have helped me move over and over again ... Thank you
To the one who rented me her home, for less money then she could have .. thank you
To those that look at my heart, and though they wish health for me; they love me .. all of me - Thank you
To the one who has taken the time to figure me out and takes time to explain in ways I understand ... thank you
To the one who gave me a gift of a baby .. thank you
To the three who have loved me as mom .. in my good and in my bad times as a parent .. Thank you
To the one who chose to give me life .. even though it meant life change as a teen ... Thank you
To the one who worked hard to provide all those long years ... Thank you
And finally, to the one that without Him I would have nothing, and I would be nothing. To the one, without you I would not have life .. you gave me NEW LIFE - I will walk with you always!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone
In Him
Jacqueline
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