Whether it's the fact that I have spent almost 9 weeks in a quiet home, or the fact that my oldest has become a man with his own plans, work schedules and is entering his last year of High School; Today I am finding myself thinking back over the years and somewhat wishing I had enjoyed things longer.
I remember when I had my baby, he learned to walk and I craved another little one to be held in my arms. The wise older women said, "don't rush it dear, savor these moments"; but I didnt listen. I urged the words, the steps; I was excited when he became a big boy (no longer needing diapers); and loved when I could pack away the bottles.
I spent many years taking care of little ones. I think there were approx 112 children in and our of our home as foster children; and for a long time, everytime the youngest one left,my arms ached for a little one to hold.
That yearning eventually left, and I thought it would never come. I still love to cuddle little ones, but I am good giving them back to their parents at the end of the day.
For all my dear sisters with young children at home: I know how tired you are; for I have been there. I know how you long to sleep, for I too have been up lots of nights caring for little ones (that were not even mine). But don't do what I did, don't hurry through this stage. Try to find some joy in it, enjoy it (even if it is the screaming and tantrums of a 2yr old); for one day soon, that will all end. And, if you are anything like me when I had a house full of preschoolers, I thought life would be so much easier if they were older. No, it is not. The job of parenting does not become easier as they are older, just different. Yes,physically you are more energized, but emotionally, much more engaged and it can be much more draining. (If you don't believe me, ask others around you who have moved passed the younger stage and are now parents of multiple teens.)
I wish I could turn back time, hold them a bit longer, read to them one more story; forget the rules and stay up late watching one more movie or episode of Barney ... oh those older women who had walked the parenting journey before me were right (and I for some reason thought I knew better).
It is for a season, enjoy and savor each moment you can. Don't be so caught up looking ahead that you miss the now. For right now, you still have that opportunity to speak into their life (haha and they actually listen; for they believe Mom can do no wrong!)
I wouldnt trade anything, except maybe to enjoy those younger years longer and not look ahead.
Now, for my friends who are in stages like myself; just like I urge the younger mom's to not look ahead; I urge us to not be continually looking back with regret.
Today is another day; another season and as I sit in the quietness of my home, I consider the next steps: do I down size in housing? do I consider buying a pet? What hobby do I want to improve on? (Do I even have a hobby?)
And probably more importantly, what does Jesus want for me to do? Who does He want me to love?
Just some thoughts from a Mom of teens!
Til Next Time
Jacqueline
No comments:
Post a Comment