Whether it's the fact that I have spent almost 9 weeks in a quiet home, or the fact that my oldest has become a man with his own plans, work schedules and is entering his last year of High School; Today I am finding myself thinking back over the years and somewhat wishing I had enjoyed things longer.
I remember when I had my baby, he learned to walk and I craved another little one to be held in my arms. The wise older women said, "don't rush it dear, savor these moments"; but I didnt listen. I urged the words, the steps; I was excited when he became a big boy (no longer needing diapers); and loved when I could pack away the bottles.
I spent many years taking care of little ones. I think there were approx 112 children in and our of our home as foster children; and for a long time, everytime the youngest one left,my arms ached for a little one to hold.
That yearning eventually left, and I thought it would never come. I still love to cuddle little ones, but I am good giving them back to their parents at the end of the day.
For all my dear sisters with young children at home: I know how tired you are; for I have been there. I know how you long to sleep, for I too have been up lots of nights caring for little ones (that were not even mine). But don't do what I did, don't hurry through this stage. Try to find some joy in it, enjoy it (even if it is the screaming and tantrums of a 2yr old); for one day soon, that will all end. And, if you are anything like me when I had a house full of preschoolers, I thought life would be so much easier if they were older. No, it is not. The job of parenting does not become easier as they are older, just different. Yes,physically you are more energized, but emotionally, much more engaged and it can be much more draining. (If you don't believe me, ask others around you who have moved passed the younger stage and are now parents of multiple teens.)
I wish I could turn back time, hold them a bit longer, read to them one more story; forget the rules and stay up late watching one more movie or episode of Barney ... oh those older women who had walked the parenting journey before me were right (and I for some reason thought I knew better).
It is for a season, enjoy and savor each moment you can. Don't be so caught up looking ahead that you miss the now. For right now, you still have that opportunity to speak into their life (haha and they actually listen; for they believe Mom can do no wrong!)
I wouldnt trade anything, except maybe to enjoy those younger years longer and not look ahead.
Now, for my friends who are in stages like myself; just like I urge the younger mom's to not look ahead; I urge us to not be continually looking back with regret.
Today is another day; another season and as I sit in the quietness of my home, I consider the next steps: do I down size in housing? do I consider buying a pet? What hobby do I want to improve on? (Do I even have a hobby?)
And probably more importantly, what does Jesus want for me to do? Who does He want me to love?
Just some thoughts from a Mom of teens!
Til Next Time
Jacqueline
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Judging Others
Today's post is going to be brutally honest. I have had a thought going around in my head the last couple of days and have been so thankful for what God has been faithful in showing me.
Where do you go when life is stressful? What do you do to try and get yourself "into a better space"?
Some women look to shopping for comfort (admit it, how many times have you heard the term "retail therapy"?); Some women take their frustrations out on cleaning their home or maybe walking the treadmill. Other women hide behind acts of charity or perhaps hold their children tight to fill their gap to have a "purpose in life". These forms of "comfort" are of course socially acceptable right?
What about the woman who sleeps with a stranger in attempts to fill that deep longing to be loved and accepted? What about the woman who shoots up or pops the pills to temporarily escape the pressures of life? Or, what about the woman who weighs 100lbs and is struggling with anorexia or the woman who weighs 300lbs and turns to food for comfort when she doesnt know how to handle the overwhelming emotions?
If we are honest, how do you rate these behaviours on what is more or less acceptable? Are these last behaviours really that much less acceptable? Or perhaps we sit on a throne judging those who have developed "less acceptable" ways of protecting themselves from further hurt and rejection?
Father showed me this week that eating two potatoe chips for comfort is no better than the woman who pops one pill. And, eating chips is no worse than the woman who withdraws from friends to protect herself or the woman who serves faithfully in church every week; or the woman who just "needs" to go shopping for some of that "retail therapy".
When we walk in our flesh, we will experience death and frustration. I suggest that before we look at others and judge their behaviours, we ask Father to show us what our OWN flesh looks like. What do we do when we are trying to cope or protect ourselves from further hurt?
I suggest that when we begin to look at our own plank, then maybe we will be more compassionate, loving and accepting to others.
Til Next Time
Jacqueline
Where do you go when life is stressful? What do you do to try and get yourself "into a better space"?
Some women look to shopping for comfort (admit it, how many times have you heard the term "retail therapy"?); Some women take their frustrations out on cleaning their home or maybe walking the treadmill. Other women hide behind acts of charity or perhaps hold their children tight to fill their gap to have a "purpose in life". These forms of "comfort" are of course socially acceptable right?
What about the woman who sleeps with a stranger in attempts to fill that deep longing to be loved and accepted? What about the woman who shoots up or pops the pills to temporarily escape the pressures of life? Or, what about the woman who weighs 100lbs and is struggling with anorexia or the woman who weighs 300lbs and turns to food for comfort when she doesnt know how to handle the overwhelming emotions?
If we are honest, how do you rate these behaviours on what is more or less acceptable? Are these last behaviours really that much less acceptable? Or perhaps we sit on a throne judging those who have developed "less acceptable" ways of protecting themselves from further hurt and rejection?
Father showed me this week that eating two potatoe chips for comfort is no better than the woman who pops one pill. And, eating chips is no worse than the woman who withdraws from friends to protect herself or the woman who serves faithfully in church every week; or the woman who just "needs" to go shopping for some of that "retail therapy".
When we walk in our flesh, we will experience death and frustration. I suggest that before we look at others and judge their behaviours, we ask Father to show us what our OWN flesh looks like. What do we do when we are trying to cope or protect ourselves from further hurt?
I suggest that when we begin to look at our own plank, then maybe we will be more compassionate, loving and accepting to others.
Til Next Time
Jacqueline
Thursday, August 11, 2011
What's Your Routine?
I broke all routine this morning, and it actually was really good and enlightning.
I woke very early for the first time in a while, I had enough time before leaving for work to actually cook a good breakfast; however, once downstairs I came to find that I had no bread, the eggs had expired and no milk (With only myself home during the week I have not been purchasing many groceries). So, after starting laundry I decided I would go find a Tim Horton's and order oatmeal and a tea.
From the moment I entered this Tim Horton's I was in observation mode; this is not a regular thing for me to do first thing in the morning, but what a busy popular place it was; and definitely part of many a person's routine. It started with a pleasant greeting from the front girl, however, obviously her regular shift was afternoons or evenings as she greeted me with "good afternoon, how can I help you?" I simply responded with a "good thanks". She then continued her regular routine with taking my order and even though I made no indication that I wanted the order to go, she put it all in a "to go" bag. As I sat down at the table with my breakfast, she made a small comment about her being out of her regular routine, and that she is typically on drive-thru where everything goes in a bag.
As I sat journalling and thinking about the events of the last couple of days, it became obvious that I had sat in someone's "regular" seat. After wandering for a little bit he found another table; but I was struck at how routine we as humans can become. And, when events seem to mess with our routines, we are a little "off" with what to do next. It sometimes takes some time to become focused once again.
I can't help but wonder how things could change if we made sure our "routine" always began with saying good morning and acknowledging Jesus and His presence in our day? What if we became "off" if we missed our initial morning prayer? or daily feed of His word?
I am not suggesting that we need to be under the law of "the day doesnt begin until you go to the throne"; however, how better equipped would we be, if we were actually aware of how equipped we were with the very life of Jesus? What if we got to the point that our day just could not go on until we stopped to have a conversation with our true life source?
So, I challenge you to think about your routine, and ask yourself where in that routine do you stop to acknowledge Jesus and dwell on His word and presense in your day.
Til Next Time
Jacqueline
I woke very early for the first time in a while, I had enough time before leaving for work to actually cook a good breakfast; however, once downstairs I came to find that I had no bread, the eggs had expired and no milk (With only myself home during the week I have not been purchasing many groceries). So, after starting laundry I decided I would go find a Tim Horton's and order oatmeal and a tea.
From the moment I entered this Tim Horton's I was in observation mode; this is not a regular thing for me to do first thing in the morning, but what a busy popular place it was; and definitely part of many a person's routine. It started with a pleasant greeting from the front girl, however, obviously her regular shift was afternoons or evenings as she greeted me with "good afternoon, how can I help you?" I simply responded with a "good thanks". She then continued her regular routine with taking my order and even though I made no indication that I wanted the order to go, she put it all in a "to go" bag. As I sat down at the table with my breakfast, she made a small comment about her being out of her regular routine, and that she is typically on drive-thru where everything goes in a bag.
As I sat journalling and thinking about the events of the last couple of days, it became obvious that I had sat in someone's "regular" seat. After wandering for a little bit he found another table; but I was struck at how routine we as humans can become. And, when events seem to mess with our routines, we are a little "off" with what to do next. It sometimes takes some time to become focused once again.
I can't help but wonder how things could change if we made sure our "routine" always began with saying good morning and acknowledging Jesus and His presence in our day? What if we became "off" if we missed our initial morning prayer? or daily feed of His word?
I am not suggesting that we need to be under the law of "the day doesnt begin until you go to the throne"; however, how better equipped would we be, if we were actually aware of how equipped we were with the very life of Jesus? What if we got to the point that our day just could not go on until we stopped to have a conversation with our true life source?
So, I challenge you to think about your routine, and ask yourself where in that routine do you stop to acknowledge Jesus and dwell on His word and presense in your day.
Til Next Time
Jacqueline
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
More Grace ...
Yet today I continue to think about God's Grace ... the person of Grace - Jesus Christ.
I want to speak grace
I want to think grace in all my thoughts
I want to breathe grace
I want to parent with grace
I want to love those that hurt me with grace
I want to love those who love me, with grace
I want to extend grace
I want feel the grace
I want to be an employee of grace
I want to counsel grace
I want to write grace
I want to be an example of grace
I want to act out of and in grace
I want to experience more and more of HIS GRACE
I want to be intoxicated; that is wasted in Father's love and grace!
Til Next Time
Jacqueline
I want to speak grace
I want to think grace in all my thoughts
I want to breathe grace
I want to parent with grace
I want to love those that hurt me with grace
I want to love those who love me, with grace
I want to extend grace
I want feel the grace
I want to be an employee of grace
I want to counsel grace
I want to write grace
I want to be an example of grace
I want to act out of and in grace
I want to experience more and more of HIS GRACE
I want to be intoxicated; that is wasted in Father's love and grace!
Til Next Time
Jacqueline
Monday, August 1, 2011
Grace Grace God's Grace ...
God's grace is something I am still learning more and more about. I have all of God's grace and HIS unlimited life source. It is His grace that has made me who I am, and it is His grace (power) that enables me to live.
I heard a worship leader this past Sunday make a statement that stuck with me over the last couple of days. She challenged us to be "wasted on God's grace" ... I LOVE THAT. May Father's grace be all intoxicating!
I want to breathe grace
I want to speak grace
I want to act out of grace
I want to think grace
I want to have a home where grace is in place
I want have a family of grace
I want to have (and be) a friend of grace
I want to have (and for me to nurture having) a community of grace
Grace GRACE GRACE ... to be wasted in HIS GRACE!
That's all for now ... I am swimming in grace!
Jacqueline
I heard a worship leader this past Sunday make a statement that stuck with me over the last couple of days. She challenged us to be "wasted on God's grace" ... I LOVE THAT. May Father's grace be all intoxicating!
I want to breathe grace
I want to speak grace
I want to act out of grace
I want to think grace
I want to have a home where grace is in place
I want have a family of grace
I want to have (and be) a friend of grace
I want to have (and for me to nurture having) a community of grace
Grace GRACE GRACE ... to be wasted in HIS GRACE!
That's all for now ... I am swimming in grace!
Jacqueline
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