What If ...

It's the night before a new school year begins. The majority of the day was spent watching the kids get their school supplies gathered, bags packed and cell phone lessons (so she knows how to reach me if she misses the bus;or her older brother if she cant remember what bus).

The house is now quiet and I am pondering a question that Matthew said to me earlier in the day. He said ( in response to a friend fixing his computer)" what if absolutely everyone we knew let Jesus live through them? Can you imagine mom how wonderful it would be? People actually loving people the way it was intended to be: what if the church acted like the church? What if noone got offended because you bothered them too much? what if you actually loved spending time with others? what if you always responded the way Jesus would? What if we could experience now, what most people only dream of having in heaven? "

He has a point. I have spent a good part of this week thinking of my own lists of " what ifs..." but humbly I say, mine were more self centred and about me.

I do not have it all together, and I am not too proud to admit that I have a long ways to go. I still walk after my flesh much too often.
I still let my feelings get in the way; I still take things personally; and I still feel the need to justify my words or actions much too often.

Father, thank you that you spoke to me through the words of my son. Thank you for accepting me; this daughter of yours, who still tries to do things in her own strength much too often.

That's all for now

Jacqueline

Seasons Change ...

It has been a very different summer for me this year. This summer marked the first of many I am sure of my teens being away almost the entire two months.
I have had so much time to reflect, read and to sit and listen; but I am so glad that we are together under the same roof again.
September seems to always bring me to a place of goal setting, evaluating routines, new chore charts, adjusting allowances etc etc...
This September my baby goes to High School; and I am not sure how I am feeling about that. This world can be a scarey place for all children (and teens)but especially for ones who deal with special needs.
I am so thankful however that I am not in this alone. There have been many times over the past 5.5 years that I have said rather "tearfully or grudgingly" that I was parenting "alone".

If I had to choose having a partner to "co-parent" with; or Jesus living in me and meeting my needs; it would be an easy choice. Thankfully, I don't have to make that choice; who does a better job with patience, wisdom, kindness, love; me or Jesus? I am not doing this alone; I have the best resource ever-one that is never too busy or insensitive AND He actually can read my mind :)

Father, thank you that even though I am doing this life "alone" for now, you have never let me down, and you promise to meet all my needs!
I choose you!

That's all for now; for all those mom's out there; I will be thinking of you tomorrow as your children take their next steps in their own journeys!

That's all for now!

Jacqueline